Thursday, March 20, 2014

Donuts in Mirrors


Smoke Donuts in Mirrors




So, Ive been doing a lot of sitting.  I sit in chairs, on the bed, and my favorite place of all…the couch.  I do not work out at all, although I used to that was at least a year ago.  I got into yoga but then kind of stopped.  When I moved, working out was the last thing on my mind.  I don't like working out for a couple reasons:

1) I don't like sweating, primarily getting my hair sweaty: Now I understand this sounds completely ridiculous but unless you are a girl with curly hair who straightens it all the time, fuck off.  You have no clue how much time and energy it takes to maintain hair.  And white girls with wavy hair don't count, you guys are stupid.  Theres always a white girl complaining about having curly hair…no bitch, you hair has one large crease in it, doesn't make it curly.  So working out and wearing in turn makes my roots wet, which makes them curly, which means I have to fix that, which means its takes more time and energy.

2.) I don't like working out cause its hard and I already look good:  Fair enough.  No one is forcing me to work out and ultimately its my choice whether I am a couch potato or not.  Personally I think I look great, I could look better but everyone can look better so thats just up to how you feel about yourself.  And working out is hard, thats why theres so many fat people.  If your fat and don't like it then you should work out…if not then keep on being fat i guess.

So anyway…. I decided I want to be more active, healthy, and a little less squishy.  So i went to a couple gyms around my house and chose one that had everything I wanted and is also on the way home from school.  I figured that going to the gym directly after class Monday-Thursday is a good goal.  Now, I already hate dealing with these places because they are all fucking sharks, no different from the guys at the used car lot.  Use a little common sense, ask questions, and they get all flustered.  This guys tried to sell me a membership that made no fucking sense.  Bitch I just told you that I am only going to be here for 6 months, why are you trying to sell me some 3 year 600$ down contract… umm no.  Im not the best at math but I did it in my head and the only one that was worth it was the cheapest so I got that.  He told me I get a session with one of the trainers to show me how to use everything, what I should be doing, and stuff like that.  Cool, I thought, why not.  

So I go in to meet with Tom, he was semi attractive, his eyes were a little close together and his hair was greasy but I would have been about it if he had approached me to get my number or something. 

Think, Spanish Gaston

Anyway, we sit down and he weighs me and asks me all these questions.  From the beginning he was trying to break me down and make me feel bad about myself…um no honey.  I look great even if I am squishy.  He said he could fix my posture and get me looking tight and all this stuff.  Lol I don't want any of your personal training classes, Im not morbidly obese and I just want to know how to use the machines..thats it.

So we do some gay ass workout and then we go back to his desk were he continues with the "we can do it" "with us working together"….Bitch! there is no "we" or "us".  
There is a "me" and "my" money that is going to stay in my pocket….and "you" need to prey on someone who has diabetes, not me

When we talked about what I eat he made it seem like i bought liters of coke, and cake, and cookies on a regular basis.  LOL I eat pretty healthy considering the rest of the country.

Yea, sometimes I buy a reeces or take five while checking out at public but theres nothing wrong with little treats.

Lol he tried to sell me so hard on this personal training…"its only $200 a month" lol only 200 a month…fuck you

I tried to be nice and finally had to just be like, I don't need a personal trainer, Im sure this program is good for lots of people but its not for me.  I love the way I look already, I just want to be healthy and tighten up a bit, definitely don't need to pay $235 a month for that.  

Then what irritated me more was that he seemed irritated, like I wasted his time…

Well why don't you tell your shitty sales people to make sure people know that its really just a short workout that entails someone trying to make you feel bad about yourself so you feel the need to buy what they are selling…
No bitch! 

When we moved to Miami from New York my mom gained some weight, she was always thin and was by no means fat.  She did get a little chunky tho.  When she realized she was getting chunky she got up every morning and walked around our neighborhood.  She lost like 40lbs.  

So you don't need to pay any crazy amount of money, or do crazy workouts to achieve your goal.  

God I hate these people, leave me the fuck alone, I don't need your stupid fucking advice and I don't want what your selling.

I am 5'7 and 128lbs 
I have been sitting on the couch for months
I do not need a personal trainer and I don't even need to workout
I just want to be healthy and look a little tighter, thats all

So fuck all the personal trainers that make people feel bad about there eating habits and body just to make a sale. 

SHAME ON YOU

Unless you are extremely overweight, have health problems, or feel extremely insecure and you think there is no other way then to get a trainer, I guess thats cool.  Even still, in my opinion you don't need one and you can do it if you really want to.

Ugh ok rant over

So I think that all that matters is how you feel about yourself, regardless of what other people say.  Someone will always have something to say, well fuck em.  Everyones body is different and sometimes yours will probably never look like someone else's.  Just do what makes you happy, be healthy, and don't let someone make you feel less than.

P..S. -  I noticed that the lighting in the gym is the worst, and the mirrors make you look super wide…coincidence I think not.  I have all kinds of mirrors in my house, so how come when I go to the gym I don't look as good.  Maby because they want people to think they look gross, buy the personal trainer bs, workout more, extend their membership and keep coming

All I know is if I owned a donut shop I would choose a long mirror that made people look thinner as they walked in the door "Dam I look pretty good this morning, def getting a donut or 2" they would think. I would be selling as many donuts as gym memberships ;)



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