Friday, July 25, 2014

Do What You Say Your Going To Do

When people make promises to me I almost never take it serious.  It doesn't mean anything to me, literally nothing.  It's a fart in the wind until it actually happens.  Then I am usually pretty surprised because my outlook on people following through is simple… they usually don't.  Now I know that isn't fair, and I know that tons of people always follow through with promises but its been pretty hard for me to change my way of thinking.  

My dad constantly made promises he couldn't keep.  About everything, and I can honestly say 2% of those things actually happened.  Other people of course contributed to that mentality so I just can't help it.  Although I do put a lot of pressure on other people I also put a lot on myself.  

Just as much as I get irritated when people don't follow through with things is half of how mad I get at myself when I want to do something and ultimately can't  don't make it happen.  As I have mentioned before there are always tons of things on my mind which makes it difficult to sort through the things I'm capable of from the things I have the time for, from the things I want to try, to the things I think i'll like, to not doing any of them cause I spend too much time dabbling.

I need to stop dabbling and start doing.

I originally started this blog with the thought that it was going to be strictly about fashion and beauty and consist mostly of pictures of me wearing different outfits and explaining where I got the items and so on.  I do have that type of content but when I moved away and no longer had people to take pictures of me it became my responsibility to take the pictures.  

I can honestly say I am falling in love with photography.

Which sounds fucking gay.  Anytime people tell me they are a photographer or do photography its usually some hipster who drinks pbr and takes pictures of birds and tattoo girls or some creepy older guy that wants to take "artistic nudes" at his home studio rape dungeon.  It never really occurred to me how much I would enjoy it.  

Anyway, I love taking pictures and I love experimenting with different things and teaching myself cool new tricks.  All of the pictures have been of me, of course because I am the easiest person to photograph but also for a couple other reasons that sparked another creative project idea.

I never thought I could take such amazing photos, and for someone who literally bought a camera about a month ago my shit is pretty dam good.  With some more practice and patience I can only get better.  I have always loved short films and watch tons of them all the time.  I've talked about how much I watch youtube but like…. I really watch youtube. Every single day.  I don't have cable and even when I did, youtube is just my thang.  I've been subscribed to certain people and have been watching them for years.  A couple of which do a lot of self made short films.

Hey, if they can do it so can I.  I am going to challenge myself a little and do something that I have always wanted to do but never really thought I could for watever reason that is.  I have written it out and have the concept down.  Now I just need to get off my couch and do the dam thang.  

I have no clue how long this is going to take but I will start it and I will finish it.

It might suck 

It might be fucking awesome

The thing is, I don't care.

So although i started with a fashion blog in mind I am just going to go with the flow and do what I like.

Until next time…

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