Tuesday, July 15, 2014

illness is a drag

What a drag …

So I have been sick for almost 2 weeks now and it has not been a pleasant experience.  As much as I love to brag about my strong black immune system it hasn't been doing right by me… guess my weak white side is taking over

It's funny how sickness comes in waves, complete with an emotion to accompany each phase.  The sunday of Fourth of July weekend I was not feeling well and that was the beginning.  After that I was so tired, achy, congested, and overall just did not feel well.  

I did a lot of sleeping, taking medicine, and soup eating.  I started having a really bad cough around Thursday/Friday which got worse when I had to go to work.  All the cigarette smoke, and having to yell at people due to loud music just made things worse.  Alas I completely lost my voice and could only whisper for 2 days.  While that was sort of fun in bed late at night for pillow talk, the other 96% of the time it sucked.  I made due and then final got my voice back yesterday.  It is now Tuesday, late at night and I can honestly say I haven't done shit all week.  

and I feel like a loser.

a really fabulous loser...

The rational part of me says to stop worrying and just calm down.  Relax, its ok to not do anything.  You need to rest and take it easy so you can get better.

The other part of me says … "stop being such a lazy bitch, all you've been doing is sleeping, I'm sure your not that sick.  Its not like your suffering from the bubonic plague or have ebola…. your just being lazy.

So I have been going back and fourth with myself about just resting and feeling like a slacker for not doing anything.  I don't really have an answer but I did muster up the strength to capture what this feels like.  

While I am not feeling well and couldn't even talk for a couple days… I am capable of doing my makeup and hair and appearing to be a contributing member of society… even tho I feel like shit

Ahhh… gotta love a game of inner tug of war

ok… I'm going back to sleep now

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