Sunday, May 17, 2015

Hiatus












I haven't written anything in a long time, the reason being that I can't exactly say what I want…

Everything I do write about is half assed and boring

I'm working on a new lifestyle where I will actually be able to describe what goes on.

On one hand this is suppose to be an open forum where I can talk freely about what is going on in my life but that is actually bullshit because currently I can't.  If I actually talked about what is happening in my life this blog would be so much more interesting.  

There would be sex and drugs and inappropriate stories galore.  When did 80% of the people I know become ex porn stars.  Since when did I sit at home for three days in a row wearing the same clothes, eating ramen noodles while recovering from a date where I looked like a movie star and drank too much whiskey with a man older than my dad.

I want to talk about my spontaneous trip to Austin and Vegas and the ridiculously hot Australian man I slept with after my friend with waaaay too many "cool" tattoos went phsyco.  

That is a fucking story.

Not these lame half stories I write on here.  Its actually frustrating because I want to be able to talk about real stuff but once you do there is no turning back.  

I want to tell all the details of the shitty guy I dated who owned a dispensary and was better at surfing than sex

I want to talk about every shitty date I've been on since moving to this desolate cold state.

 27 to be exact

I want to talk about sugar daddy's, over eating, smoking lots of weed and how many men girls have to sleep with to afford their dream brazillian butt lift… its 11

This life doesn't even feel like mine anymore, It's like I'm in a bad lifetime movie.  And although I do love the cheap thrill and drama of those mid-day flicks I need to switch it up.

I don't only want to talk about recent stuff but maby some juicy stories from the past.  Maby share a bit about a guy whose name I will only remember as The Viking or the guy I dated for almost a year who couldn't get hard.  How it took me like 4 times to pass pre algebra and my Ethics teacher who would call and text me while I was in his class.  Maby share a little about a company I worked for the first time I dropped out of college where I sold the chemicals that are used to make spice… if you don't know what that is google it… which would be a great segway into how I started dating my 40 year old boss. The point is I have stories for days and the more experiences the wiser I become.  I would love to be able to share, make some people laugh… or cry and maby even teach a lesson or inspire someone in a weird non traditional way

Alas, I cannot talk about these things because once they are said they cannot be unsaid.  The internet is a place where there are no take-backs

I have already divulged more information in this one post than in the entire 2 years I've had this blog… My life is complicated, and interesting, and spontaneous, while also boring and similar to that of a 62 year old cat lady.

I'm going to pour myself a Jameson and ginger, cuddle my hairless pussy, and contemplate whether to  share the good stuff



XOXO

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