Monday, October 31, 2016

Happy Halloween

It's Monday night and as I sit on my couch with my bottle of wine next to a giant bowl of candy and wait for trick-or-treaters I realize... I am a full on adult.

All the fun things you couldn't wait for when you were younger... I've done them
All the alcohol I got my underage hands on doesn't compare to this bottle of wine from Target
And all those nights I wished for the day I could live on my own...well this is it
the manifestation of all my pre pubescent dreams

I already dressed up in my not so revealing but still slutty costume for a party over a week ago and I can honestly say that night satisfied all of my Halloween festivities urges.  Aside from being a less than ideal night to rage, all I really want to do is blob out on the couch and eat the overpriced halloween candy I bought.

This is the first year I've purchased candy for the kids that may come knocking but I must say the prices are steep.

I used to hate getting shitty candy so of course I shelled out my hard earned coins for the good stuff

3 Musketeers
& Skittles

Of course I ate 1/3 the day I bought it but it's the thought that counts... right?

I stopped at Publix on my way home from school for some groceries and was informed by my mother I had to get a pumpkin or a decoration to signal that I was indeed participating in the Halloween festivities.

I thought leaving the porch light on would be enough but I shelled out another 10$ for these little fuckers who keep banging on my door like Jason is chasing them.

The first kid that showed up scared the shit out of me because I do not have people knocking on my door at night time... and if it were a normal night I would be calling 911 with a weapon in my free hand because I do not play that.

I have suppressed my house cat tendencies for the night but am slowly regretting it with each knock.

First of all some of these kids looks scary, second of all some of them are rude, third of all the parents look like they want to kill themselves, and fourth... its kind of annoying to be at home chilling and then theres a knock on the door and I have to get up

I'm a morbidly obese girl on the inside.

Other than the 3 seconds of terror I feel after the knocks it is going relatively well.  

To be honest I'm giving each kid the biggest handfuls of candy so I can run out and turn my porch light off and not have to be bothered.  Since I do not have the adult manual I don't know the official time trick-or-treaters stop knocking but its 9:01pm and it sounds pretty quiet.

I'm going to continue gorging myself of candy and red wine while watching the exact opposite of a scary movie and fall asleep in my private adult dwelling

Happy Halloween

Until Next Time


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