Thursday, March 16, 2017

Commitment Issues

I've always known I've had commitment issues and it has definitely been 
a running joke between close friends, but I've never actually stopped and thought about what that meant.

essentially, commitment issues = fear 

Not being able to commit directly correlates to being afraid.

The older I get the more I am able to really identify and see how this affects my life... that It's the literal root of most of my problems.

I'm a dreamer, I fantasize a lot, and I am very particular which is a recipe for disaster all on its own, but sprinkle a fear of commitment in the pot and you might as well invite all your dysfunctional friends over for some I'm never going to accomplish anything stew.

I finally realize why having these extreme commitment issues is such a big deal, I'll never be able to reach these fantasies if I can't connect between having a want and completing
the necessary steps to arrive at the destination

Well that sounds pretty obvious of course but the problem is

I'm scared of making the wrong choice.
I'm so afraid of picking the wrong thing or making the wrong decision that I wind up not doing anything at all.

That is a problem.

Disclaimer:  I have accomplished a lot of things in my life and have in a round about way gotten everything I've wanted.. in my opinion I am doing much better than most people my age.  That is nothing to scoff at but I strive for perfection in all ways, therefore I will not merely be satisfied with good and am constantly trying to figure out how to arrive at the pinnacle of what I perceive to be ultimate success.  My definition of success is not purely monetary and I think it is possible to achieve success in all ways if you spend some time trying to figure out this crazy puzzle of life.  Ergo I am very hard on myself but I think if it makes me a better person over time it is a character trait I am happy to possess.

back to the regularly scheduled programming

The desires that I have are possible, I just need to commit to a path that will take me there.
This pertains to hobbys, ideas, school, family, and romantic life.

According to google there are 3 steps to overcoming a fear of commitment.
That almost sounds to easy but google usually doesn't do me wrong so I'll take their word for it.

Step 1 – Find the Desire Behind Your Fear. The first step is overcoming your fear of commitment is working out what you're actually afraid of. 

Step 2 – Fulfil that desire. 

Step 3 – Create a relationship that fulfill that desire.

Now whoever posted this clearly did not read back over for spelling errors but I won't talk too much shit since I don't always read over what I write on here 
which leads to inevitable spelling errors... 

So now that I have identified I have commitment issues that are quite debilitating in certain aspects of my life and my theory of "making the wrong choice so don't do anything instead" is clearly not getting me anywhere I need to try a different approach.

Actually commit to something.

and not just anything... some things are easy to commit to, others not so much.

I think I need to pick the one thing that I am most scared of committing to and just say fuck it
If it doesn't work out oh well but doing nothing isn't working out either
so I might as well see

I'm always so paranoid I'll make the wrong choice but thats getting old and I'm never
going to be able to make it to my impossibly detailed
and rediculously over the top dreams if I don't commit to the road that'll take me there.

Moral of the story.

Everyone has issues
you could totally choose to ignore them 
you can decide
to do something about it

Maby my next blog post will be titled "how committing ruined my life" but for now I am going to give the impossibly simple answer the the problem a whirl.

I'm sure that I am not the only one with a fear of commitment, anyone else have the same fear?

 If you are afraid of commitment, used to be but overcame it, have some advice, or just something random to say on the topic leave a comment below I'd love some input?!

until next time


P.S. - I saw Get Out twice this week and highly recommend you go see it if you havent already

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